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1. Diary - I never have kept one. I have been blessed (or cursed) with a near photographic memory. I don't often write stuff down. Now that I am entering geezerhood, I may have to start. I can feel it slipping a tad.
2. Bathroom – When I was a kid I had these cheap blue sneakers and my cousins and me would go out and play on my Grandparents farm. The shoes would get wet and the ink would run and turn my socks blue. Then when I went to take a dump I’d pull my pants down and turn my underwear blue. Then the next time I would take a dump I’d pull my pants down and my ass would be blue. I walked around with a blue ass for a year, them damn shoes never ran out of dye.
3. Lunch – In junior high this dude was going to fight this other dude and I was the only one who knew. So I thought I would have front row seat. Needless to say the other dude threw broccoli on me and I wound up in the fight. I said "hey fag" and it is was on.
4. Music – Went to see Pantera about 1997 and there was no place to park, so everyone was parking on the side of the streets. Of course when we came out they (the cops) had towed every damn car, thousands. We had to walk about 3 miles in 40 degree weather to the impound yard. And then stand for about 4 hours while everybody paid the impound fee ($80). Some dude tried to start a riot saying "this is a scam and cops are in on it" blah blah... This was after the pizza guy delivered about 20 pizzas to the impound yard employees. He then said "come on lets charge that place that can't stop us all". He then proceeded to run up to the trailer by himself(where through the window you could see the pizzas) and punch the window out with a newly blooded fist. The cops walked up there, arrested him and then he realized not one person had backed him up. He called everyone some curse words and had to sit in the squad car the whole night cuffed. A news chopper flew over and everyone gave it the finger. We all felt better after that.
5. Underwear – See above.
6. New Year – One New Years Eve My Cousin and me meet these chicks and they were nice looking fun girls. We were at a dance and here comes my cousin pulls me aside and says lets get out of here that chick hanging on you is 12 years old and the one I’m with is 13 and that dude up there is their father. So we got the hell out of there. They didn’t look a day under 18, I swear.
7. Road trip – My brother had gas on one of our family trips and kept letting the silent but deadly farts. It really pissed my Dad off and he said “No More!” My brother convinced Mom to roll the window down because he was hot. Next thing you know he had his ass hanging out and the farts were silent no more. Dad was less than amused.
8. Water – I got nothing. It is too near bed time.
9. Hair – I haven’t had a real hair cut since I was 19 years old. 18 years and still fighting the power. Yo Yo Yo, you know what I’m sayin’.
I’m not going to tag anyone else. I could use some bad luck. I’ve been acting a little to arrogant and cockey lately. I need to be taken down a peg.
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